17 Funniest Running Memes - Which One's Do You Relate To? - RunToTheFinish See also: people who wont pick a restaurant, when the answer to every question is whatever you want.***. . But no one argues against working! Ok. ( This simple expression embodies the fact that you don't give a f*ck!) Maybe you can Google it. Like, if you say you have nothing really planned, and you get asked to babysit or on a date, are you actually okay saying Sorry, cant this time? Overwhelming majority of the time, someone who says why do you ask? wants to know why do you ask. In that case, if they have already said theyre free, they might feel trapped into saying yes; I know I would. (You could also just say no and keep going, but that can cause conflict with them, which you might or might not want.) 10 Funny Out of Office Messages You Will Want to Copy Although you risk hearing all about the questioners plans. So in the next day or two, perhaps on some morning when you leave your house and shes there waiting for you, you tell her, firmly but cheerily with giant beaming smiles that the morning walks will be separate from now on because those are for you to have conversation with your children. I think a more appropriate reaction would be to apologize once, politely, then go away and process what I did wrong by myself. (My brother and sister in particular also had to learn from both their friends and myself that, just because they love me and love them doesnt mean that were all friends) I could only imagine if that question were followed by an expectation of service or freedom to assume I was going to a thing. Examples include: I'm so glad you reached out to me! So she says no. Oh, surviving, surviving. Me: yes! or no, sorry. Shes moving and needs a van? But I have wondered if I answer with imaginary bf and I have x-plans, if the questions would stop. People on a dating site who ask what youre up to on Thursday are not literally asking what youre doing Thursday. It might help to keep in mind that for most people, the question is pretty innocuous. You obviously dont have to do things any differently than you are, BUT if this conversation is frustrating and/or awkward, you may find that it goes more smoothly if you offer something up. I dont know whether youre being too thoughtful or not thoughtful enough here. If I just say it sounds fun but Im not up to it, they respect that. If they want to invite me to something Im interested in and available for, I can say yes, and if its something I cant do, I can say I have other plans, etc without it sounding weird. Although it can be asked in the ways LW talks about too, usually for me it is just a way of sharing life with friends and doesnt have much motivation beyond that. Theres also nothing wrong with the sitting alone in the dark rocking back and forth, it just seemed a good description of the void my mother thinks no plans equals. Good, looks like the flowers are coming out (in Spring) And partly because, depending on exactly what one wants and what cost one is willing to pay, challenging the culture is how it gets changed. It can often be an explain why youre a POC kind of thing in many countries with white majorities, and seen as a whole (its a super widespread phenomenon) it shows how far away our societies are from truly accepting themselves are diverse. I probably picked it up from my mom, who does the same thing. 2, They ask assuming Im also from somwhere else, prepared to bond over that and my answer is almost always a small dissapointment and Im never sure quite what to do with that. Sorry, Im busy. As in, What are you doing? is another way of asking What are your hobbies?. Once in a college class, we had a group of students who had American parents but had grown up in other countries come and talk to us about the experience of having a foot in two cultures. When she asks me what Im doing on a particular day, I just say Im not sure or I need to check my calendar until she tells me what she wants. This week is bad for me, but next week Im free except Tuesday. Are you me? 126 followers. As such, I like to preface it with taking care of some stuff. #2 is a good point. No Response. I think lots of people, especially women, are socialized to think that confidence is impolite, so they try to sound unassertive. Especially not in NYC, where housing is so tight, and especially when she doesnt have a job.). And I have an aunt who, when I was younger, my preferring to do nothing plans often translated in her head to free babysitting for her boys. You dont need to read their minds as to what they mean, suss out what they mean next, or throw up defenses against prying nosiness; most of the time, it will not be necessary. Do you feel obligated to help hosting her party when she wants to invite her people over? Or is it more like she doesnt get involved into such decisions but you expect her to follow through and water your radishes? I have one dear friend in particular that has the busiest social life I know. You just reminded me of the ex-husband of a friend I used to know. But when asking, I still tend to ask in layers so the other person has many outs to either say no or express no. W- Work free. Oh, the usual, you? Its all back to the lines of dominance and power again. This reminds me of a post the Captain did on Freeing Yourself from Constant Contact with people calling all the time. The bigger words you use, the better. To be honest, not good. People here are talking about changing a norm, but you have in fact learned the norm correctly, and Im sure this whole conversation feels like slipping sand beneath your feet. Tomorrow is the weekend! Shampooing the grass. ), its pure formula. Glad that this day is not that worse. And maybe just dont think of the flip side where the question could potentially add more pressure. I dont use it myself because I dont like the way it comes across. Detailing the event and a specific date is best. There are some funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for when your family keeps asking you the same dull questions. @Helen Huntingdon, that is good to know, re feelings and setting off yellow flags. Id also add that when youve lived in a place for years and are planning to stay, like I am in my husbands home country, it gets very tiring to have everyone assume youre just visiting or that youre an international student and will be gone soon. ), This is one of those times where having a live-in or serious SO/partner/spouse is super convenient. I would much rather receive hey want to check out the Frida Kahlo photography exhibit? or are you free to take the kids for a few hours??? Right now? But the thing is that people who were born in other contries than here (Sweden) ask me where Im from all the time. Sometimes friends do tell me theyre free, but if I suggest something, they might still say nah, not what I want to do this weekend and thats fine as well! I think people are missing the fact that LW is talking about some instances of this running down lines of power and dominance, which is why this is such a problem. Can you babysit for me? Oh, Im sorry, but Im visiting my in-laws that day. It can feel and be interpreted as quite awkward/rude/offensive/surprising to respond with just No, I dont want to or No, Im not up for that Of course it would be so much healthier if everyone we interact with had taken Captain Awkward 101: Accepting Refusals Gracefully, but the fact is, for many people its much more comfortable to offer an excuse to soften a no. I like to piss her off so Im honest with her. Nah, Why do you ask is generally pretty safe to take literally. She got like that by working three times as hard as everyone else and being three times as smart as everyone else. Jackpot! Then we give a quick heads up to each other in the event that the person asking (such as mother-in-laws) will then turn right around and call spouse. . Shes asked like this a few times. For example, when Sean Hayes started to sing "beautifully" on the show, Ellen said, "Ok, we have to take a break.". As for rentpart of my problem with that is: I would never, ever rent a room to a non-family member. LW, this struck me as a pretty extreme response. That it can be based on something as intangible as a mood. Leisure time is notI give up my leisure time to hem her pants or help her move back from college or make her dinner. It might be helpful to reframe this, because the vast majority of the time its not going to be meant as a high-pressure question. @IndoorCatI appreciate your comments. For example, Looking forward to the weekend? or I hope you get to relax this weekend.; My take is that if they wish to continue the conversation, they will do so, but if not, they can reply with a Yes/No. Our relationship got better when I moved out. What I usually say is, Not bad, not bad, how bout yourself?. Going back to work? Number 6 is my answer to " why don t u want to have kids ? My mum likes to do similar things, trying to out me on the spot and pressure me to agree to things when Im on the phone to her. And I agree that literally saying No, I dont want to get to know you better is a bit off. What are the usual scripts? This comment has clarified a thing for me. I dont think my friends are trying to put me on the spot at all. Have a very happy weekend! Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. How Do You Respond to "Hope You Had a Good Weekend"? Im relearning advanced math as an adult because it seems fun and Im bitter that I grew up in an atmosphere that discouraged me from learning. You on the other hand, will get off the phone feeling charged and energized.and get right back to doing nothing. There is no need to think about what they're up to or why they sent you the . Since the question what are you doing this weekend? has, like, 18 possible meanings, many of which *can* involve power plays, it just breaks my brain. Unless your friends are kind of jerks they wont interrogate you about your exact schedule. If one of us is dropping the ball about getting back to you, say so. 15 Customer Service Email Response Samples for Any Situation Then if someone tries to rope me into something I dont want to do, I can pull out the old Sorry, I have a deadline coming up soon / Im behind schedule so I have to work.. eh, my mother does that. I know its a common question and Im sure most people dont mean anything bad by it. I get what are you doing this weekend? or just what are you doing? on a Saturday morning. Fine, thanks, and you? It feels like they expect me to put in the majority of the effort, and it would be nice if once in a while instead of saying I dont see you enough they would say Would you be up for meeting up at the coffee shop on my town on Saturday if [their issues] allow? But its not something thats going to change, so I smile and nod at their noises and continue to plan things with them at exactly the rate I feel like doing so (including making extra effort if theyre going through a really tough thing). Just looking for my phonehave you seen it? So, when I do this I really am trying to get a feel for whether a busy people-pleaser like my Sis actually has time to do something on Saturday, rather than outright asking from the start and leading to her twisting herself into a pretzel trying to free up that specific block of time for me because she doesnt want to say no, Reading the LWs feelings about this situation and the comments, I can totally understand why someone would hate being asked in this way and why it might make it harder for some people to refuse something they dont want to do after theyve said theyre free, but Im still not quite sure what the solution is when dealing with someone who usually *does* seem to treat invitations as subpoenas. Me: No can do. Life is filled with lots of required thing that some folks loathe and others either like or dont care either way. Helen Huntingdon mentioned interruptingI just want to say, thats a helluva an assumption. That wasnt an assumption it came directly from what you posted about deciding to take her leisure time. Why not set up a rent in dollars or set hours of work, and have done? The vague redirect is also a standard, recognized move. [I often go in around lunch time.] I never know how to respond when service people ask How are you? and is seems almost like a variation of just saying hi. Where are you from is often followed by no, where are you REALLY from which seeks to establish that you are a foreigner. "Hi" or "Hello". Unless youre at the stage of an established friendship where you have agreed to get together for dinner every other Saturday, or are discussing plans for the next visit to your long-distance sweetie during this visit, any actual social plan is only going to happen after someone risks discovering that the other person is less interested than they are. I will probably just need some time to unwind, perhaps to watch the Winter Olympics with my cat.. My father nearly died in my arms, and you cant meet me at the airport to show me you love me, because you dont like being told what to do? Rather than rushing to respond, taking the time to understand what they mean can improve the quality of your response. I actually get this a lot from people who are actually trying to start conversations, rather than invite me somewhere. 20 Quick & Easy Canned Responses to Improve Your Customer - HubSpot It was glorious. You can be annoyed by a wide variety of people forever. (Im looking at you, mom, and you too, aunt.). Important points about both solutions is a) she gets to participate in the decision and doesnt just get told and b) she makes her own timetable about chores. ME to GROUP CHAT: [Friend] and I are planning karaoke on [date] If you are available and interested, please let me know by [date] and Ill reserve a room! Because this is very much a dumb conversation filler question and its not going to go away anytime soon. Michael Wiley on Twitter: "RT @h_miller76: Had you asked me what I'd be I'm going to say this to my parents. 7 Funny Responses to "What Are You Going to do with Your Life?" But Im not interested in any work-related socializing that eats into my personal life). What are some funny or witty responses for when someone ask you - Quora You're not obligated to tell others your plans for the future, if you even have them. Him: Nothing at all? There are a couple of questions my Mother asks that trigger a Pavlovian eye-roll from me because I know they are invariably followed by a request for a favor, to the point where if someone else asks me the same question in a totally innocuous way, I still react to it. I think people use that particular question instead of asking outright so they can feel out whether the person has any plans or our open to hanging out before they ask them to commit to a specific thing. Of course, you might have said that when you know that movie will be out for weeks and youd absolutely prefer to have an excuse to build a couch cushion fort and have an audience who is actually impressed by your terrible magic tricks, and no one wins. Never trust Calvin, even if you see Hobbes! People of just about any accent can turn up just about anywhere and be from there. Should I keep doing what Im doing? With friends and family you can be more honest if you like, but you dont have to. So, it's perfectly . But I think it tracks beyond that particular experience. Good old traffic, Ill probably be stuck out all day!, or Nope, gotta get the groceries, what about you?, or Nah, looking forward to some peace and quiet, hows your Wednesday looking?. I find mildly-but-not-entirely-absurd stock answers to be a good distraction. Everyone knows most people mean it well, its small talk, etc but these things ARE not nice to be the receiver of. Which brings me right back to not understanding why parents do this to themselves and their children. It's healthy and doesn't cost a penny. I probably picked it up from my mom, who does the same thing. Its not extreme when your life has several of those sharks who ask that just to trap you. If banal small talk that most people use is offensive to you, thats on you to tell people, I think. Do I think X is a fair thing to insist upon? This is one of those times where being okay with yourself and your own boundaries about this will help you deal with other people in a mannerly-yet-assertive fashion.
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